The failure fed into my negative life story of shame and inferiority, but I was determined to redeem myself by finding significance in other professional accomplishments. So, as a corporate executive trainer, speaker, and instructional designer, I traveled throughout the United States and abroad.

 

Unfortunately, these accomplishments did little to reduce the shame of failure or change the negative life narrative that taught me to repress and condemn myself. Instead, I felt trapped in an insane cycle of proving I was worthy of love, success, and a higher quality of life. But it would be my educational pursuits that saved me from myself. 

 

 

My Inner Quest For Wholeness

 

My educational development started as a quest to understand why I was so hell-bent on sabotaging my quality of life. This pursuit led to a Bachelor's degree in Social Psychology, a certified NLP executive coach, and a Doctorate in Industrial/Organizational Psychology. But, more importantly, it introduced me to the theories of human motivation and the success-fearing personality. 

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But these achievements did little to quiet the inner voice that constantly regurgitated the negative life narrative that always spoke louder and with more conviction than my desire to live my life's truth. In moments of emotional clarity, I felt there was more for me than the meager life I had accepted, but an "unknown something" kept me emotionally imprisoned by fear and self-doubt.

 

I spent years binging on self-help books, attending empowerment conferences and retreats, and exploring different religious practices, trying to liberate my Self. Yet nothing filled the aching gap within me. Unbeknownst to me, I was on a collision course with my true calling. 

 

In 2001, while traveling from California back home to Kansas City after attending another empowerment retreat, Divine Spirit revealed that the "unknown something" was my inability to "give my SELF permission" to do or be anything different from the negative narrative that had defined me. This divine accusation jarred me from my self-imposed prison and began my journey in learning the deeper meaning of "Giving My SELF  Permission." Now you can experience freedom too!

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